Advice for New Mamas

I sent this email to a friend of mine who just had a new baby girl, and I wanted to post it here to remind myself in case we ever become insane and decide to have a third baby....

Oh my word girl she is beautiful!!!  It is hard to tell who newborn babies look like anyway, at least until they become less squished and more flattened out.  And don't feel bad, neither one of my kids looked anything like me until Averie turned 3 or 4.  Figures though, we do all the work and the daddies get the credit...  HA!  

Anyway, I hope you are doing good.  Hang in there.  It does get better.  I remember when we came home from the hospital with Averie I was exhausted and we laid her down and I sat down to read a magazine and she started crying and I started crying because I thought, "I'll never get to read a magazine again, ever."  In the past four years I have read magazines, it just takes some planning but you get the hang of figuring things out.  Naps and bedtime are wonderful!! 

Having a baby is wonderful and magical like the diaper commercials make it look but it is also HARD AS HELL, and gross, and you leak from every hole you have, and you feel like a crazy person because those hormones are no joke, and you are sleep deprived, and you stink because you are covered with all kinds of body fluids, both yours and someone else's, and you worry all the time about every single thing.  And I'm not gonna lie, it is really frustrating because you imagine "a baby" who is all cute and cuddly (like those damn commercials show) but what you come home with is like a warm, leaky sack of potatoes that just stares at you.  And while you love that sack of potatoes, they really don't give you much positive feedback, they just scream in your face when you dare to change their stanky behinds or give them a bath or HEAVEN FORBID make them go to sleep.  

Those first three months suck, I want you to know you aren't alone if you are feeling that.  I remember thinking, why in the hell did I do this??  But after a while they start smiling at you and laughing and your heart melts and you can't ever remember not having them.  You also vaguely remember things like sleeping in, taking longer than a prison shower, having disposable income, etc but the weird thing is you don't miss them (that much..)  

Once you figure them out and get over the newborn stage they are really the easiest they are ever going to be.  Go out to eat!!  Take them places!!  All they do is eat, sleep, and stay where you put them.  They get challenging once they are mobile, but once they hit about 18 months (where Reid is now) to about 3 it is the most fun and wonderful time and you feel like you could have 10 more.  Everything they see and do, even random stuff like seeing a ladybug or watching fireworks, does become magical because you get to see it all through their eyes and it's like the very first time you've ever seen it.  I am glad we got pregnant again during this window because around the time they turn 3 they turn in to little divas as they "assert their independence", but you will be prepared for this once you get there.  I used to worry about being a mom to an 8 year old or a 12 year old or a 16 year old, but you grow as a parent as your kid grows, so you are somewhat prepared once you get there.  

And it does go by faster than you can ever imagine.  I used to feel guilty because I wasn't enjoying or treasuring every moment, but I figured out that sometimes there are moments that suck and you are tired of it all and it's okay to lay them down to check your email or take a shower.  You need to take those moments for your sanity and to remind yourself that you are still a person and not just someone's mama.  And always remember, you are the best mama that little miss could ever have, she was created just for you and no one can take as good of care as you can!