When Vacations Attack

I have become that mom. You know, the one you see in the grocery store or Wal-mart, covered in snot and spit up, greasy hair, no makeup and with a dead look in her eyes. Before I had children, I felt so gross if I went one day without showering. I would hide my hair under a hat and only go out if necessary to avoid anyone seeing me without showering. Fast forward almost 3 years, and now it feels strange to go out having had a shower! I think on our recent vacation I must have reached a new low because I looked in the mirror one day and recognized the dead eyed grocery store woman as me! How did this happen?

Let's start from the beginning while it's still fresh. We got home this afternoon from our wonderful vacation to Myrtle Beach. Er, I think I should just say our free vacation to Myrtle Beach. Eli had a John Deere golf thing to go to, so his company paid for our hotel, gas, and his food. It seemed like such excellent idea for the kids and I to tag along. It was sure to be a good time - warm sun, the beach, aquarium, good food - what could go wrong?

Monday night Averie had a bit of a stuffy nose but otherwise seemed fine. She woke up still congested Tuesday morning but acting fine and not running a fever. I sent her on to school while Eli went to work to tie up some loose ends and I got everything ready to leave. Our plan was to load the car, pick Averie up from school, drop the dog off at the kennel, and be on our way to a relaxing vacation. It was finally time to take off so I sent Eli in to school to get her because he never gets the chance to while I waited in the car with the baby and the dog. It seems to be taking him a long time to retrieve her, but I figure he just isn't familiar with the routine and she is probably showing him all around her classroom. A few more minutes go by and he comes out holding her in her arms. She is wearing different pants, no shoes, and he's carrying the dreaded plastic grocery bag tied at the top. In the world of preschool, the tied off plastic grocery bag just might be the scarlet letter screaming out that someone has had a potty accident. This is only the second time we've been on the receiving end of the plastic bag, and I'm trying to stay positive and not make her feel any worse about it than she does. I notice she is red and sweaty and I'm thinking she is just upset because of the accident. I calmly wait for Eli to get in the car, and he explains to me that he found her in the principal's office because not only had she gone #2 in her pants, she was running a fever of 102 and they wanted to keep her away from the other kids. Little do I know this is not the first time I will feel like mother of the year during this trip. We decide to proceed because she can be a bit of a drama queen and will feed off the attention you give her and work the situation to her advantage. We get the dog dropped off, get some lunch, and head on down the road. She is acting like she feels okay and her temperature has dropped to 100 so I think she must have some little bug and will be better tomorrow.

Our trip is uneventful and we make good time to Myrtle Beach. I hadn't packed any food for Reid because I thought we would go shopping when we got there as it would be less to pack. We arrive at the Wal-mart at the beach tired and hungry but we have to get the baby's formula so we trudge in to the store. I decided to get some children's ibuprofen because Averie loves to take medicine and I can't remember if I brought any or not. We swing through Wendy's after leaving Wal-mart, pick up some dinner, and head to our hotel. The hotel is under construction so the area up front where you normally pull in to unload bags and get checked in is closed. Undeterred, we grab the babies and the food and walk half a mile to get to the front. Check in goes good and we head to our room to feed the babies while Eli goes to get the rest of the bags. Averie eats okay and I told her it was time to take her medicine. Now normally, she loves to take medicine and will often ask for it when she's not sick. However, I made the grave mistake of pouring it in to the little cup (something she also loves) that comes with the medicine because the syringe I normally use to give her medicine is in the car. That absolutely freaks her out and she starts crying. Eli has arrived at this point with the bags so I patiently dig out the syringe and transfer the medicine over. She still is not having it. At this point she is exhausted and obviously not feeling good, I'm exhausted and starving, Reid is crying and well, bless his heart, Eli isn't sure what to do. I finally get the medicine filled syringe in her mouth and squirt. Now, remember previously I mentioned she is a drama queen? Well, she gets so upset that she makes herself vomit all over the hotel sofa and carpet. I got so upset with her for being said drama queen that I jerk open the sliding glass doors to the balcony, push her out there, and breakdown crying because not only is there vomit covering everything, but she still hasn't gotten any medicine. Eli finally figures out her needs to do something as I'm half dragging her back in the room and to the bathtub. He makes me sit down and eat while he gives her a bath and puts her to bed. I'm pretty sure at this point I am definitely not a candidate for mother of the year and that is when I begin the total meltdown involving ugly crying, questioning our marriage and my own sanity, and finally ending with drowning my sorrows in a bag of M&Ms. My wonderful husband recognizes that this is not his normal wife and makes me go to bed promising that tomorrow would be a better day. Well, of course it would be for him - he had class from 8 to 5!

Wednesday morning we woke up early and ate breakfast in the room. Averie was acting like she felt better, minus the green goop in her eyes, so I decided we would go to the aquarium and use the free ticket I had won. I got her ready, Reid ready, and then started to work on myself when I looked over at her laying on the bed. She was so pitiful looking, glassy eyed, red cheeked, and watching Judge Judy without even a protest for me to turn it to another show. I decided it would not be fair to take her to the aquarium feeling that bad and we should probably get her to a doctor. I knew she had pink eye, so I called her pediatrician to get them to call in some medicine. But then I worried and decided to take her to the Minute Clinic at CVS to be seen by someone and get a prescription. I wanted to know what it was in case Reid got it, and for my peace of mind knowing she hadn't come down with ebola or bird flu, which would totally be our luck. The Minute Clinic was fabulous and confirmed the pink eye, along with an ear infection and hyper active bowels. What? The nurse practitioner seemed concerned about her bowel sounds and told me to get her some gas drops and if it didn't improve she would need to get an xray to make sure she didn't have a bubble. So we leave with a prescription for eye cream and amoxicillian, and with orders for alternating ibuprofen and Tylenol every four hours, with the gas drops and pedialyte. Our entire eating out budget for the trip was blown in one fell swoop at CVS. We should know by now that we need to budget in medical expenses on any trip we go on since she did this last year in Orlando. We head back after getting some Chick-fil-a and meet Eli in the hotel room for lunch between his classes. He tries to help me give her medicine and instead she pukes it all back up again, and again on the carpet of the hotel room. Now I'm really getting concerned about dehydration and trying not to break down again I laid her down for a nap and watched some junk tv to relax. Eli gets back from class and goes to get us dinner. She eats a bit and then its medicine time again. At this point, I have a gigantic knot in my stomach knowing that it is coming up again. She decides she will take the medicine for daddy, of course, and we all go to bed.

Thursday we all sleep though Daddy getting up and getting up breakfast so we wake up at our leisure feeling rested. I feed her breakfast and then attempt the medicine again. AGAIN she blows chunks and I feel like I'm going to rip every hair out of my head. I strip her of the pukey clothes and put her in the tub. Then I have the brilliant idea to try the medicine again in the tub because if she tries to squirm in there she will drown and if she upchucks again at least it won't be on the carpet. I calmly walk in to the bathroom with her medicine and explain that it is time to take it and miraculously she takes it without incident after realizing that she can't squirm away. SCORE! At that point however, my nerves are shot and I realize we've got to leave so housekeeping can come in and at least vacuum the floor where she's vomited because I've done the best I can do to clean up. I realize there is no time for showering or make up so I take off my pjs, thrown on jeans and a shirt and put my hair back in a pony tail. I get both kids loaded up in the stroller and head out. Averie has decided she wants to eat some peanut butter crackers so we ride the elevator up and down several floors looking for a stinking snack machine with peanut butter crackers and finally find some, from which she takes one bites and hands them back to me because she is done. I am so frustrated at this point so I decide to load them up in the car and go on the hunt for a Dunkin Donuts so I can go on a Munchkin bender and make myself feel better until we can get back in to the room after its been cleaned. I get almost all the way outside before I realize I have no keys, so I head back up to the room, grab the keys, and get out. Remember how I said the hotel was under construction? Well they had the only entrance with a ramp blocked off so when I get outside at the other entrance I realize there is literally no way to get down with the behemoth double stroller because we are on a landing area surrounded by 6-8 stairs down on each side. I literally pace back and forth for at least 5 minutes as if magically a ramp will appear. I finally decided to take the car seat out, walk it down the stairs, set it on the ground, and then push Averie carefully down the stairs. I can feel myself on the edge of another nervous breakdown because I'm greasy, sweaty from pushing the 10000 lb stroller, hungry, frustrated with everything, and then I can't find the car in the parking lot. I finally find it, get in, and drive away not sure where I'm going but I know I need to just drive my frustrations away. Eli calls in the mean time and says he is done with class so we go pick him up and head to lunch. Lunch was good and we get back to the hotel in time for naps and showers. After napping we had a great dinner and then headed to Krispy Kreme where I ordered two glazed (hot and now!) donuts and the girl working must have known I was mentally unstable because she put four (hot and now!) glazed donuts in the box. Thank you Lord, because I needed some sign He was still with me!

Friday we went to breakfast with Eli and then I experienced the highlight of the trip. I knew I needed to do laundry before heading home because we have several vomit and poop covered outfits so I decided to do laundry while Eli stayed with the kids before his class. Of course I should have known this would not be easy, because nothing had been, and I was right. I got all the dirty clothes in to the two large trash bags I had brought and instead of carrying them I loaded them in to the double stroller. I got in the elevator and headed down to the pool level. It is after the elevator doors close that I can't get to the pool level from the elevator I'm on (why - I still have no idea!) so I ride to the lobby, get off and switch elevators and head to the sanctuary of the laundry room. Then I realized you need a hotel key to get in, so I turn around with the stroller and ride back up to the room, grab the key, and head back down. I get in the laundry room and the change machine is out of order. I ride back to the lobby and get chance from the coffee shop. Finally I head back down and get the clothes started. My plan was to get them started and then head back to the room, but I am suddenly aware of how quiet and peaceful the laundry room is so I decided to stay. I did go grab my Kindle and the US Today and I had about 45 minutes of uninterrupted peace in the laundry room. The clothes finished their first dry cycle and were still wet so I added more money and headed back to the room since it was getting hard to breathe in the laundry room with all the dryer steam and I figured I would need to check on Eli. When I got back to the room Averie was in time out, so at least it made me feel better that she wasn't behaving for him either. He headed to class and the kids and I napped until he came back. We went to the aquarium at Broadway at the Beach and then to Mellow Mushroom to eat. Reid, who is really a perfect angel and the best baby in the entire world, decides he needs to throw his first public fit after vomited his entire bottle all over my shirt. As I'm walking him out of the restaurant I can hear Averie screaming at the top of her lungs, "Hey, where you going Mama?" I keep going and look around like who is that kid talking to? Reid and I get in the car and drive around the building at least 20 times until Eli and Averie finish and pay. We head back to the hotel and tried to go to the pier but of course we were 10 minutes too late and it was closed. Since Averie finally had medicine in her and was eating and drinking, she finally felt better and Eli took her swimming. I gave Reid a bath in the sink and then packed the whole room up, laying out our clothes for the morning so we could get the heck out of town in the morning.

Saturday morning we got dressed and went to eat breakfast. Averie was back to being 2 again and would only eat 3 things of yogurt for breakfast. Eli got up to get more juice and she yelled, "Hey Daddy - where you going?" and the woman next to us said, "She probably needs more yogurt." Great! Anyway, after that we got loaded up and were in the car on the road by 9:30. We stopped for lunch in Columbia at Chipolte, which is obviously a terrifying place because it resulted in Averie refusing to eat nor sit in her own seat so Eli at his burrito with her clinging to his neck. After picking up the dog we rode the last little bit of the way home in complete silence, except for Reid, who was over being in his car seat for the past 6 hours and let us know about it. When we pulled in to the driveway I don't think I have ever felt so relieved to be home. I always clean the house really good before we go anywhere in case we die while we are gone, so we came home to a clean house and almost no laundry thanks to my little mommy escape on the way home.

Reflections:

I have decided that this is just a season in our lives and that for a little while, normal things we used to do are going to be way harder and not as much fun as before. I watched a lot of Say Yes to the Dress during nap time and seeing those girls pick out wedding dresses with their moms made me think that Averie and I will be doing that before too much longer. I really can't believe she is going to be three in just over a month, so I just need to remember to be patient with her and savor this time we have together. Not that every minute we have together is going to be awesome and one for the scrapbook, but when we are having good times I need to really be in the moment and just enjoy her. I also think that I need to stop putting such unrealistic expectations on things like holidays and vacations. Building them up only makes me so much more disappointed than if I go in to them not expecting as much. I also need to realize what we do on a random Wednesday can be just as awesome as what we attempt to do on vacation.