My Weight Loss Journey Part I
For as long as I can remember I have never liked to talk about my weight. I was never one of those kids who looked forward to gym class, playing organized sports, or doing anything involving physical activity. I can remember shopping with my mom for back to school clothes and hunting all over the department store for "husky" size or whatever the girl equivalent is. I have always checked the weight limit on things, fearing I would be the one to make the elevator fall or the porch collapse. My weight has always been an incredibly sensitive issue, and until my second pregnancy my husband, who I've been with for literally half of my life, did not know how much I weighed. I figured by the second kid he probably wasn't going to leave me over that. I am now fighting the battle of my life against my life long issue, and so far I'm winning!
I don't know how I became overweight. I do remember walking home from elementary school (does any kid still do that?) and stopping by the little convenience store across from the school to buy candy. Fun dip, lemonheads, jelly beans - anything comprised of pure sugar I could not get enough. I was always a bigger kid through elementary and middle school, but when I was a teenager and started dating my high school boyfriend - now my husband - did I start packing on the pounds. It was a new thing, to go on dates and go out to eat all the time. My family rarely ate out, mostly because the town we live in has no restaurants and with three kids to feed it was always too expensive. But when I was 16 and had my own car and my own money from the part time jobs I always worked, I could eat when and how much I pleased. At a time when I should have been at my physical peak, I felt fat, bloated, and ugly compared to the cheerleaders and athletes at my high school.
I think I was 18 when I started Weight Watchers for the first time with about 30 lbs to lose. I had a little success, but then I entered college. I went to a school higher up in the mountains, where it seemed everywhere you had to go was uphill. I was walking a lot and even going to the gym soon, but I was eating more than enough to cancel that out. I remember when I first felt like I was really a college girl, it was a Sunday afternoon and I went to the Student Union, in my pajamas, with my roommates to eat ice cream for dinner. What freedom! I was able to make it through college remaining pretty much the same size, probably due to all the physical activity I was getting from just making it around campus. I also had a wedding to plan and wanted to feel beautiful on my big day, so that was also motivating for me to not lose total control.
I don't know how I became overweight. I do remember walking home from elementary school (does any kid still do that?) and stopping by the little convenience store across from the school to buy candy. Fun dip, lemonheads, jelly beans - anything comprised of pure sugar I could not get enough. I was always a bigger kid through elementary and middle school, but when I was a teenager and started dating my high school boyfriend - now my husband - did I start packing on the pounds. It was a new thing, to go on dates and go out to eat all the time. My family rarely ate out, mostly because the town we live in has no restaurants and with three kids to feed it was always too expensive. But when I was 16 and had my own car and my own money from the part time jobs I always worked, I could eat when and how much I pleased. At a time when I should have been at my physical peak, I felt fat, bloated, and ugly compared to the cheerleaders and athletes at my high school.
Age 16 - with my now husband
I think I was 18 when I started Weight Watchers for the first time with about 30 lbs to lose. I had a little success, but then I entered college. I went to a school higher up in the mountains, where it seemed everywhere you had to go was uphill. I was walking a lot and even going to the gym soon, but I was eating more than enough to cancel that out. I remember when I first felt like I was really a college girl, it was a Sunday afternoon and I went to the Student Union, in my pajamas, with my roommates to eat ice cream for dinner. What freedom! I was able to make it through college remaining pretty much the same size, probably due to all the physical activity I was getting from just making it around campus. I also had a wedding to plan and wanted to feel beautiful on my big day, so that was also motivating for me to not lose total control.
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