Things that I love

Dear Averie,

I love going in to your room first thing in the morning and knowing that when you see me, you are going to smile the biggest smile ever. I love when I am giving you your bottle you grab it with one hand and my finger with the other and squeeze them both every time you take a sip. I love that face you make right before you are about to start crying, the corners of your mouth turn down and your little lip pokes out. As terrible as this is, sometimes I let you cry for just a minute just so I can see that face. I love your beautiful, peachy, clear skin and your perfect little doll fingers and your bright, shining eyes that take in everything you see. I love how when I lay you in your pack n play you just stare up at the bears and smile and smile and smile at them. It makes me wonder what you are telling them. I love when I get you out of the bath and you are so warm and cozy and smell so good and then we go put on your calming lotion and your cute little pjs. I love when you are asleep and I go check on you that you are sleeping with your arms in the air above your head like you are making the touchdown sign. I love how you will smile at anyone who looks at you because I don't want you to be that weird kid who hates everyone but your parents. I love how you make Granddaddy turn in to the silliest man on the earth when you are around and how Nana still cries sometimes when she looks at you. I love how you will sleep during the loud, loud parts of church but you immediately begin screaming when we start prayer time. I love sitting you in your bumbo on the ottoman and having deep conversations with you and how you "talk" back to me with that serious expression on your face. I love how Daddy talks to you in his silly voice that I had never in 12 years of dating heard before you were born. I love the patch of hair on the back of your head, the one that Daddy calls your rat tail. I love the bald ring that makes you look like a little old man, and your little gorgeous curls at your cowlick on the very top of your head. I love how you smile when Tucker licks your toes and how you stare at him wondering what this ugly, hairy, stubby person with four legs is doing when he is sniffing your butt. I love shopping for you and worrying about whether you match and if you have shoes and hair accessories to coordinate with your outfits. I love it when we are out and perfect strangers stare at you and tell you how beautiful you are. I love how you remind me and everyone else in the world what is good and important and what innocence and helplessness and complete trust are all about. I love that you are a living, breathing example of just how good God is and how you make me wonder what in the world I ever did to get so lucky as to be your mom. I love that I am now bawling my eyes out as I write this because I am so full of love for you that it hurts and it makes my heart feel like it could just literally burst. And finally (not really but for now) I love that I have the opportunity to raise you into a beautiful, confident, caring, smart, loving, dream seeking, goal realizing individual who is going to make the world a better place. That's it for now, I'm sure tomorrow I will think of a dozen more things I love about you. These are the things that I want to remember when you are older and my memory of this time in your life has gotten hazy and you turn into a teenager who slams door and gets moody for no reason and I'm worried about you dating and driving and growing up. I think at that time I will read this and cry again and most of all I will remember that I just love being your mom.

Love,

Mama